Tag: eating-disorders

My positive Tips & Tricks

Along my very long journey towards recovery, I have made discoveries of various things that work for me when I am struggling.  Many of these are just my own adaptation of tools from different methodologies that are proven to work combatting ED.  These tips and tricks work for me.  Feel free to give them a try or just use these ideas to make up your own.  

I use the 5 senses tool but with a slight variation.  I will name my favorite movies, 4 of the main characters in it, 3 of my reasons I enjoyed the ‘movie to make it one of my favorites, 2 places that I thought were great in the movie and 1 favorite scene in the movie.  Use as much or as little detail as you are able; the more detail the longer the exercise is and the more calm you might find yourself becoming.  This technique does not keep me grounded in the present as the 5 senses tool does.  But rather allows me to distract myself away from the ruminating or unpleasant thoughts I am having.  Which ultimately helps to calm me and then allows me to be back in the present.  I am a reader, so I might switch it up and use 5 of my favorite books.

One of my favorite tricks is just as simple.  I am, and always have been, a reader so I take my favorite book or series of books and using any actress or actor, past or present, alive or dead and at any age they were in acting to figure out who I would cast as each character.  See if you can actually visualize them in the role you are assigning them to.  If you are not a reader, but use an app to listen to a book, you can still do this.  This is also something I use when my mind is racing at night and I need to slow it down.  BTW, if you and any of your friends are readers, you can turn this into a great conversation which can invoke a lot of laughter as you learn who others think would be a good fit for each character.

The great thing about the first 2 tips/tricks is that you can do them anytime you want.  You are only using your mind and last I checked no one is a mind reader so others won’t know what you are doing. 

Another thing that I do which helps with distraction and helps make me smile is that I think of something, going all the way back to the first things I can remember, and find a positive memory.  Once you find one, concentrate on the actual memory and NOT what happened before or after the memory.  Everyone has at least one memory that brings a smile to their face.  The trick here is to focus on the positive emotions that the memory invokes.  Go ahead and actually smile as you remember it.  That is the object.  Don’t panic if it is hard to find one in the beginning.  Just keep trying.  When I first developed this technique for myself it was impossible for me to find a good memory.  But I kept working on it for only about 2 minutes at a time until I was able to find one.  The reason for the time limit is to minimize any sense of frustration when you are not able to recall something good.  Don’t beat yourself up.   Just try again at another time.  It took me about 5 times of doing this technique before I was able to come up with one.  Once I was able to find a memory, it seemed like the flood of good memories didn’t want to stop.  This helped me to begin to realize that my life had some great times, which I had a hard time remembering.  My first good memory that makes me smile is the x-mas I got a brush, comb and mirror set when I was 6.  Both of my grandmothers had one and I felt so grown up and ‘just like them’.  This memory never fails to make me smile.  

As time goes by you may find other tips and tricks that work for you.  In my opinion, any tips or tricks you find that are POSITIVE in nature and help you are okay.  E-mail me with them at wingsofrecovery@yahoo.com.  If I get enough tips and tricks that work for you, I will publish a blog on them in the future.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I know and believe that those of us who suffer from an ED of any type can beat it.  It is hard work and at times feels impossible; but I am sure it is a goal that is obtainable to all of you out there.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!  Take baby steps towards your recovery, put one foot in front of the other and know, with a capital K, you CAN do it.  Even if you can’t see it now, the world needs you!

Books I Recommend

I am the type of person who wants to know everything I can about the eating disorder that has consumed my life for over 50 years.  Usually, at first, my research was an attempt to prove to myself that I DID NOT have this disease.  For most of us, if not all of us, we end proving to ourself that the diagnosis is correct and, yes, we do having ED.  At that point, my mind turned to research for that ‘quick fix’.  Sound familiar?  At some point, we begin to see that there is no such thing as a ‘quick fix’; that we actually have to do some tough and very difficult work.  Very frightening for most of us.  

These are 4 of the books I would recommend to read for those of us who suffer from any type of eating disorder.  I have read them and found them to be helpful – some of which were very helpful, some that were somewhat helpful and some just for knowledge of about our disease.  The books I am now most drawn to and find the most helpful are the books that contain knowledge that help me to see how and why my body and mind work ALONG WITH tools I can use to overcome the ED.  

If you choose to read or even peruse any of these books, there will be things you can relate to and things you think are pure junk.  Take what you need and leave the rest.  Understanding that you may not be in a place to believe at that time you are reading them what they have to say is normal.  Which is why I will at times refer back to them since as I recover I may be able to be more receptive to the information presented.

For those of you who don’t like to read or struggle with actually reading, many of these books are available on Audible (my personal favorite for audiobooks).  You can listen to them when falling asleep or driving somewhere.  I would recommend making a mental note of where you left off before you went to sleep and set a timer for when you want to stop listening or may fall asleep so you don’t miss out of an idea that might be beneficial to you in your journey. 

With some of these books there may be a workbook that goes along with the book. I would advise speaking with your professional support team before beginning any workbook.  This is simply because the feelings, thoughts and emotions a workbook may bring up can be difficult for us (especially in the beginning phases of our recovery) to handle.  When your professional team is aware of your work in any workbook, they will be prepared to help you deal with these uncomfortable thoughts.

Coping with BPD by Blaise Aguirre, MD & GillianGalen, PsyD

DBT & CBT skills to soothe the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

I know the title shows this book is for those of us who also suffer from BPD, yet I found the entire book contains situations, feelings, thoughts and emotions that every single one of us has felt and struggled with.  This is a very easy read with only 200 pages.  This book is my favorite go-to book when confronted with strong situations causing equally as strong thoughts and feelings.  I carry this book in my backpack where I keep my other things like my gratitude journal or templates I use to write out my thoughts when overwhelmed or stuck.  

Some of the chapters that are in this book address stuff like Anger, Other Intense Emotions, Loneliness, Observing Personal Limits, Urges, Negative self-Thoughts, and Who Am I just to name a few.  Within each chapter are 2 to 3 pages are different facets of each topic, so they are short, easy to read pages.  Each section starts with The Problem, What It Looks Like, The practice (with short explanations of each practice and ending with a checklist of each of the practices that were discussed.  Example:  under the chapter on Other Intense Emotions there are pages that address the feelings of Sadness, jealousy, Guilt, Shame, Fear and Disgust.  

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

Brian, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma

This book is a much longer read.  If you like to read, you may be interested in this book.  It provides a lot of information on how our bodies store the physical symptoms for any trauma we have experienced during our life.  Most of us with an eating disorder have experienced some sort of trauma during our lives.  Some of us have experienced repeated trauma most of our lives.  For me, it was an eye opener.  It helped me to realize that for far too long that most of the somatic (physical) sensations I felt were a result of what I went through and greatly helped to feed the eating disorder that was consuming my life.  This book does have a workbook though it is not necessary to use this in order to understand the book, the hows and whys of what we physically feel and the process of healing.

Decoding Anorexia by Carrie Arnold

How breakthroughs on Science Offer Hope for Eating Disorders 

This is a book that throughly explains the hows and whys and changes of our actual brain when we become a victim of an eating disorder.  It explains the neuroscience behind the changes to our brain.  For me, I found this book to be interesting since I am fascinated by why our physical brain changes which make it so much more difficult to combat our disease.  Having to fight our ED on 2 fronts, mental and physical changes to our brain can make it seem twice as hard.  This book is very much science based.  Therefore unless you are interested in that particular aspect of eating disorders this may not be the book for you.

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

This  book talks mostly about the idea of radical acceptance, which is the art of accepting what is and what has been WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  For a lot of us, we can be the most judgmental people about ourselves in our own lives.  This book “shows us the way step by step to stop being at war with ourselves and begin to live fully every precious moment of our lives “.  Radical Acceptance is a tool that I have found every professional tries to teach us and encourage us to use in our quest to get better, no matter the type of eating disorder we suffer from.  It is also useful in every aspect of our life.  

‘What is is” as I have found seems to be something the younger generation says.  But how do we come to that conclusion?  That is where this book can be of benefit to each of us.  It is not a difficult read though it is over 300 pages.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I know and believe that those of us who suffer from an ED of any type can beat it.  It is hard work and at times feels impossible; but I am sure it is a goal that is obtainable to all of you out there.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!  Take baby steps towards your recovery, put one foot in front of the other and know, with a capital K, you CAN do it.  Even if you can’t see it now, the world needs you!