Let’s be real—emotions can hit hard. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re furious, sobbing, or feeling like you’re going to explode. It happens to all of use for no apparent reason. You’re human. Feeling big emotions is part of just being alive. You’re not too much, and you’re not alone. The trick isn’t to avoid emotions—it’s learning how to deal with them without letting them overwhelm you. The more you practice handling these incredibly strong emotions, the stronger and more grounded you’ll become. Here’s how to get a handle on those intense feelings:
Name It to Tame It – Sounds cheesy, but it works. When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, stop and ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling? Angry? Embarrassed? Jealous? Anxious? Naming your emotion makes it less scary and more manageable.
Breathe. Seriously – Your brain freaks out and does all kind of unwanted things when you’re emotional, and deep breathing calms it down. Try this: inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 4, exhale for 6. Do that a few times and you’ll feel the difference. You can also find other breathing techniques in my blog “Just Breathe”.
Don’t Bottle It Up (But Don’t Explode Either) – Shoving your emotions down doesn’t make them go away; it just delays them for being dealt with and gives them a chance to become stronger and more overwhelming. But letting them explode all over someone else doesn’t help either. Write in a journal, talk to someone you trust, or get creative—draw, make music, move your body. You can see my blog on journaling for some suggestions on this if you haven’t thought of this earlier.
Find the Story You’re Telling Yourself – Sometimes strong emotions come from the story we’re spinning in our heads. These are called cognitive distortions. Such as
they ignored me, so they must hate me.” Stop. Ask: Is that actually true? Or am I assuming the worst? Be curious about your thoughts—not an instant judge of yourself and your thoughts.
Take a Timeout – It’s okay to walk away. Whether it’s from a heated conversation, a stressful situation, or your own overthinking brain—step back. Give yourself space to cool off and think clearly. This is another place you can use using breathing techniques to encourage and help your mind calm down.
Emotions Are Temporary – Even the strongest emotions don’t last forever. REMEMBER…emotions usually only last 90 seconds. Yes, you read correctly…90 SECONDS! However that is assuming we don’t do anything to intensify them. No ruminating, no anguishing over them, etc. I realize that can be almost impossible for us. You might feel like your world is ending, but it won’t feel that way tomorrow—or even in a few hours. Ride the wave.
Talk to Someone – You don’t have to deal with everything alone. Talking to a friend, a mentor, your support team (professional or personal) isn’t weak—it’s smart. You deserve support. I will tell you from personal experience that emotions that are shared DO tend to lose their power over us and our mind.
If you find yourself with unbelievably strong emotions and you forget these suggestions…don’t panic! As long as the emotions still exist you can begin to use any or all of these tools. Or any tools that are in your toolbox that you are able to remember. If you can’t find anything in your toolbox and none of the above ideas don’t work for you; reach out to your support team, they may have further suggestions. No beating yourself up! This only serves to add more negative emotions to your already overflowing emotions. Remember, emotions can’t really hurt you physically.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
I know and believe that those of us who suffer from an ED of any type can beat it. It is hard work and at times feels impossible; but I am sure it is a goal that is obtainable to all of you out there. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP! Take baby steps towards your recovery, put one foot in front of the other and know, with a capital K, you CAN do it. Even if you can’t see it now, the world needs you!
Wings of Recovery 