Triggers are things or words someone says that we encounter that makes us very uncomfortable and possibly allows us to indulge in our eating disorder. These things can be something as simple as a number, the outfit someone wears, a situation and yes even a smell. We become so super sensitive to the item/words/smells/situations/places that we tend to close up mentally. Triggers can sometimes even cause somatic symptoms. One of my own triggers is so severe that I instantly become nauseated.
So what can we do when we find ourselves becoming triggered? This is when we need to open our toolbox and use some of the tools we have. Breathe, use distraction, use a CBT or a DBT technique if you are familiar with them just to name a few.
Make a list of things/words/smells/situations/places that you know are triggers to you. Then work with your professional support team to help you to figure out what tools in your toolbox might work for each thing that you know is triggering. This is called a ‘Cope Ahead Plan’. You are pre-planning ahead of time so you have options for when you may be triggered. Practice these tools BEFORE you need to use them. By practicing our tools when we are calm, they are more likely to come to mind much more quickly when we need them.
If we do get triggered by someone we need to ask ourselves a question…Was the person aware that their actions/words are triggering to us? If the answer to this question is yes, we have to make the decision as to whether we want this person in our lives. We can always terminate the conversation; though for us it may be hard to do since most of us are not able to stand up for ourselves in the beginning of our recovery journey. To do something like this takes practice. However, we NEED to realize that most people have no clue what may or may not trigger us or even what our individual triggers are. Becoming upset is normal and natural, but it is up to us to let the person know that their words are making us uncomfortable in a private setting. There is never a need to humiliate someone because we are triggered.
If the trigger is a situation, we can always remove ourselves from it. When I go out with others I always drive myself. This way I do not have to rely on someone who may not be ready to leave to stop and take me home. I can excuse myself (if needed make up an excuse, such as I have a bad headache) and just go home. Once I have removed myself I can reach out to someone within my support team and verbalize my emotions.
If the trigger is a place we can:
- avoid going there
- Go to the place for very small amounts of time, it may only be 1 minute the first time. That’s okay! Increasing the amount of time by small amounts each time. This technique is a form on prolonged exposure.
- if you have to go to that place you could take a trusted person who may or may not be in your support circle. Be honest with them so they know what to expect. If possible let them know how they can help you. Remember, people can’t help us if they aren’t aware of what is going on with us.
- Another option could be that you limit your exposure to that place if at possible. Again, drive yourself so you can leave if needed.
If the trigger is a particular smell, remove yourself from the area in order to not smell it any longer.
Anytime we are triggered we can use our breathing techniques we have learned to calm ourself, our mind and our body. DO NOT beat yourself up; look at what you can do the next time you encounter the trigger. Each time we handle any trigger we might have, it lets our brain know you are a strong person and you will not allow it to control you.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
I know and believe that those of us who suffer from an ED of any type can beat it. It is hard work and at times feels impossible; but I am sure it is a goal that is obtainable to all of you out there.
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP! Take baby steps towards your recovery, put one foot in front of the other and know, with a capital K, you CAN do it. Even if you can’t see it now, the world needs you!
Wings of Recovery 