Curiosity

Curiosity can be a good thing for us if used properly.  My dietician is always saying to me, “can we be curious on where that thought/emotion is coming from”?  For me, that aspect of self questioning can be very painful at times.  It can lead me to areas of thought or emotions that I don’t want to feel or believe I am not ready for.  

For example:  Whenever I am feeling fear, I try to be curious about it now. I ask myself these questions:

• What is causing this fear?
• What exactly am I afraid of?
• Is it the emotions I am feeling?
• Is it emotions I MIGHT feel?
• Is it the intensity of the emotion(s)?
• Is it the actual situation I am in?
• Is there a valid reason for this fear?
• Is it the emotions that go with a memory?
• Is it based on a specific trigger?
• Is this fear based on a cognitive distortion?
• What was my role in whatever situation the thoughts are coming from?

Based on the answers I have given to these questions I can try to use a tool from my toolbox to calm and lessen the fear.

• Deep belly breathing
• Check the facts
• Sit with the emotions
• Repeating:

“I am safe “

“ Not everything is my fault”

“I cannot control other people, places and things”

“False Evidence Appears Real”

“I am enough “

• Have a conversation with my fear

So let’s be curious together.   Ask yourself some questions trying to figure out exactly what it is that is upsetting you so much.  Am I stressed, sad, angry, feel invalidated, what is that I feel?  If I feel angry, could it be that my anger is a cover up for other emotions I don’t know how to deal with?  Is it a trigger that has me flashing back to something that is physical or  emotionally painful?  There are a myriad of questions you can ask yourself to get to the bottom of this emotion/feeling/thought.  You have to figure out how to question your mind so that you can get some honest and real answers to your questions.

Once this process has been completed as far as you can go ask yourself what tools do I have in my ‘toolbox’ to help me lessen or expel these thoughts/emotions/feelings.  I have listed a few of the tools I have and do,regularly use.  Some of my tools I use may not be what you need to,do,at that moment.  So keep trying to find the tool or combination of tools that work for you.  If you can’t find any tool that works just sit with emotions until you can ask someone who may be able to guide you to a tool that is useful to you.

Remember no emotion ever killed anyone – it is the reaction to the emotion that can get us into trouble.  Emotions and thoughts do not have to paralyze us.  We can use them to help us grow and strengthen our recovery.  I know you can do it.  Keep on keeping on!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I know and believe that those of us who suffer from an ED of any type can beat it.  It is hard work and at times feels impossible; but I am sure it is a goal that is obtainable to all of you out there.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!  Take baby steps towards your recovery, put one foot in front of the other and know, with a capital K, you CAN do it.  Even if you can’t see it now, the world needs you!